Recruited by the LAPD? (2 of 2)
One woman's lunch with L.A.'s finest
By Skylaire Alfvegren
read it in the LAWeekly
As a longstanding anti-authoritarian, unrepentant bohemian and countercultural gal-about-town, I have never been a big fan of the po’ po’, yet I’ve found myself oddly attracted to my potential new career.
Turns out, I meet the minimum requirements: I’m over 20½ years old. I am a U.S. citizen. I have no felony convictions. I am in decent physical shape. And I believe I have, to a degree, “a background suitable to be a police officer.”
The LAPD is searching for “well-rounded people with integrity,” and if you fudge your background, it’ll all come out in the polygraph test. Most recruits, Mariani says, face “hiccups and speed bumps. Did you smoke marijuana five times 10 years ago? Be honest.”
Granted, the seven-step hiring process is impressively thorough, as the PowerPoint presentation outlined. On Saturday, I completed step one: three essay questions on my life experience, integrity and past. From there, recruits must pass physical aptitude tests, a background investigation, medical and psychological evaluations and an interview.
“The psych test is a lot of fun,” noted one sergeant. Once deemed sane, a recruit need only wait for certification and a call from the academy. “Can you start Monday?” he guffawed.
Once accepted, recruits are paid a starting salary of $58,522, more if they have any kind of college credit (while receiving 18 credits once they’ve completed training). In the academy, one learns all kinds of useful life skills: Spanish, firearms training, human relations, tactics.
“You’ll be in the best shape of your life,” noted another sergeant.
After the academy, it’s on to field training and then a crack at one of the 251 careers the force has to offer. Working three 12-hour shifts, one could go back to school, with the LAPD reimbursing tuition. If you come from the military and are deployed, the LAPD will continue to pay your salary. And new hires receive 28 days of paid vacation annually. They want their people happy, because, as Mariani said, “It’s a high-stress job. You’re going to get yelled at.”
And they want their people sane. After 18 months of service, you can look into learning to pilot a helicopter, entering SWAT, joining undercover investigations or becoming a detective. Picturing myself as more Police Academy than Police Academy, I could see myself as the Fletch or Officer Zed of the LAPD.
With the start of the Avengers game drawing closer, I left my fellow recruits behind — I had tickets to see Iron Maiden.
“You’re the architect of your own destiny,” Mariani noted. But could mine include a badge and a gun?
